Notable quotes from work.

[snafu]

During the course of years of working with interesting and colorful individuals, some statements just seemed to stick in my mind. I decided that maybe everyone could share some that they have heard.

"When it quits hurting, the pain will go away".

"All bleeding stops eventually".

Someone SCREAMING "I can't breathe"

"Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean you don't have enemies".

"He is not the sharpest knife in the drawer - may even be a spoon".

Muslim speakiing to an obviously intoxicated lady "Madam please don't breath on me. My religion prohibits the intake of alcohol". To the same lady a few minutes later "Madam you should try drinking water once or twice a week"

"Ah, I have caught you down on your knees"

It would help if you would please cooperate with your healthcare delivery team.

You can't fire a slave.

[dillybar]

From My Administrator: "If ya always do what ya always done ya always gonna get what ya always got"

[stickman]

"What goes around, comes around."

"Payback is a MF!"

[Statpat35]

Let's get to work M'kay

[fleming]

Knew a guy who was full of verbal dyslexia such as:

"Straight as an arrow to its' gourd"

Years ago, Ford made a model call the Torino. The guy was an auto salesman and came into the office and ask the Manager "to come outside and help him appraise this Ford Latrino"

He referred to a Notary Public as a "Notary Republican".

He referred to the city Mayor Pro Tem as the "Mayor Protest.

This was just several of many

[AUFAN]

We once had this guy at work who was a foreman to tell us he lied about lying.

[Rock]

How about when you tell someone to hit ctrl+alt+del, and they say "I can't hit ctrl+alt+del, I only have two hands"

[Bamassee]

I used to have a pretty interesting employee.....picture if you will a tall Italian woman, pretty as a picture until...she spoke. She was the BIGGEST hillbilly I've ever met! She would ask if she could go to lunch and end it with "I'm so hungry I can see soup beans on crutches" ???!!! Great employee though.

[Polly]

I had a principal bring me a message that she had taken for me. It said to go to

russell county schools doc calm

[DQ4BAMA]

Does it have oil in it?? Is it vibrating?
Are we still talking about this main oil pump motor or a (toy)??

[snafu]

A former computer guru told me he was doing some basic computer training. I found out it was very basic when he told that he told the woman to click the mouse at the box and she picked it up and pointed it at the screen like a remote control !!