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Sergeant First Class
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Bay Minette, AL during the Week / Linden- Jefferson, Al on Weekends - Crazy, I know!
Posts: 159
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US Adoptions...
I saw a case unfold recently that just upsets me to no end about adoptions in the United States, without giving any kind of identifying information, I am going to briefly recall the basics of the story and I want some feedback as to what others feel on the subject....
You have a mother that has decided from the first prenatal visit at 9 weeks that she is sure that she wants to give her child up for adoption. This mother is of advanced maternal age, and reports that she did not raise her other two children from many years ago because "she hates the brats". This woman is married, however, the husband did not desire children either. They go through an adoption agency and are set up with a couple from California, at this time, she is only about 14 weeks pregnant and also has no insurance. This particular couple flies over from California several times during the pregnancy, they pay this couples medical bills and for basic care items, ect...
There is a contract signed between the biological parents and the adoptive parents, of course there are lawyers from California and Birmingham, as well as, the adoption agency involved in all of the paper work. So to quickin' the story up...the woman goes into labor, the adoptive parents arrive from California, the baby is born and everything is wonderful to that point. Two days later, at the time the infant is to be discharged and some of the final paperwork is being signed, the biological father refuses to sign the paperwork and says that he is going to keep the baby, and also that he will divorce his wife if she doesn't agree to keep the baby. So, the biological mother ends up agreeing to keep the baby, not that she wants it, but because she says that she loves her husband and doesn't want him to leave her because he's all she has. This biological couple doesn't even have the means to take care of themselves much less an infant, and neither one of them are employed. On top of that, the husband is violent. The police department had to be called to the hospital on this couple a total of three times during her two admissions for verbal and physical altercations with the staff.
I just feel so, so bad for the adoptive family and for this poor child that has to go home and live in those conditions. I couldn't believe that social services/DHR or whoever could not stop this couple from taking this child home, until an investigation had been completed after everything that unfolded in the case. To the adoptive family, this was their child. They have been in contact with this family from 14weeks of pregnancy on up and spent two days in the hosptial never leaving this childs side, just to have the child taken away from them in the end. On top of that they have paid major money in doctor fees, lawyer fees, adoption agency fees, and paid the couple $15,000 that they have already spent! In the end though, no amount of money the biological family can pay them back will make up for the emotional scars that will be there for a lifetime.
I here people say all the time, I don't understand why people go out of this country to adoot these babies when there are so many here in the states that need to be adopted. Well, the above story is the exact reason that people don't adopt in the United States! I don't understand why the court systems can't say that once you sign all of those contracts and the paper work is complete-that's it, it's done. And in the state of Alabama, after the biological family has signed all of the paperwork, they still have thirty days to come back and say no I decided to keep my baby after all. This just sickens me to no end, and I hate to ramble on and on about it, but I really want the opinions of other people or maybe somebody that has gone through something like this.
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